I'm going to jail i love you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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