please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Barsexuality is the new black.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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