It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
