Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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