I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
