i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
