we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
