do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
