Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
