Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
