Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize