Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
