I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
