at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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