living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize