Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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