she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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