Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
