just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Randomize
