I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
