just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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