I hate all girls vehemently.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
