Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
