they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
