She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Im part way to drunk.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
