thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
