I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
