this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
