My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
