why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
