i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
