Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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