It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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