Did you just see the Batmobile???
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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