How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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