hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
