let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
