SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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