I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
