just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
