no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
