Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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