Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
