I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just gargled with NyQuil
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
