420 ftw
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
