Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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