$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
