why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
