She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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