Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
