but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
