i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
